Kurtis and I spent most the day on Friday trying to get more answers about our baby. After two ultrasounds, a pleasant, or at least comforting, meeting with our midwife and a not so pleasant one with a doctor we have never seen we came away with less hopefulness.
We did get the chance to see our baby on the ultrasound. It measured at 7 weeks 5 days, thus this was not a 'blighted ovum' because in that case the baby never begins to develop. It gave us some hope when we saw the baby, we expected to see nothing. Then we sat and watched, and waited to see any sign of movement and a heartbeat...we were not able to see any. We were with our midwife at this point and she said she wanted to send us for a formal ultrasound to be absolutely sure. Unfortunately, that one confirmed what we thought after the first.
We then had to meet with a doctor to discuss our options. I won't go into it here but neither of us were pleased with his bedside manners.
We chose to wait and let things proceed naturally...and who knew...maybe we could find out the doctor's were wrong and our baby would beat all the odds...
...not so. This morning the natural process of miscarriage began. It's sad and yet we have a great peace about it. God IS good. His plan is right. He loves us and knows what is best for us.
AND in all of this we see answered prayers. I prayed that I could be at home, with Kurtis when it all started...and in fact that is what has happened. It began today, not tomorrow or Tuesday or Wednesday when I have plans to watch a friends baby.
AND now we can see God's great mercy on us in allowing us to not be taken by surprise. I have felt very frustrated about being in limbo about this, not quite knowing what was going on. But this morning Kurtis and I were both grateful that we were given the chance to prepare, as best we could, for this. I know many people do not have that opportunity and I can only imagine how much more difficult that would be.
AND what an amazing opportunity this was to be cared for and prayed for by those we love. Thank you to all that have been a part of this with us.
1 comments:
I am a friend of Allison's. I wanted you to know that I had the exact same experience three years ago. Reading your story brought it all back, but also reminded me of how God's timing was sovereign in my situation, too. And how He protected my emotions by preparing me, too. Now I have two healthy, beautiful children to praise Him for. God IS Good!
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